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Free Blonde Jokes From Bethany
Blonde Jokes
1) A blonde is at home trying to do a jigsaw puzzle but just can't figure
it out! She calls her boyfriend and says "I'm trying to do this jigsaw
puzzle, it is meant to be a tiger but the pieces just dont fit!" Her
boyfriend comes over. He says "Firstly I want you to relax, secondly, put
the frosties back in the box and we can go shopping."
2) A ventriloquist is performing lots of blonde jokes and making the
puppet say them. Suddenly a blonde stands up and says "Im sorry to
interrupt but I find these jokes incredibly offensive - I happen to have the
highest IQ in the world and am an incredibly successful business woman."
The ventriloquist says "I'm very sorry I didn't mean to upset you." And
the blonde replies, "I wasn't talking to you I was talking to the man
sitting on your lap."
3) A blonde is driving along in a car behind a lorry and suddenly
realizes that the lorry is losing it's load. She shouts at the driver and he
pulls over and winds down the window. "Whats the matter love?" The
blonde replies, "You are losing your load." The driver says "It's a gritter
love."
4) A blonde and her boyfriend have just split up and the boyfriend is
extremely angry. He takes the the blonde to a car park, draws a circle
and tells her to stand in it and not to move. He then takes her very
expensive sports car and begins to destroy it. He turns round and the
blonde is giggleing uncontrolably. "Why are you laughing?" He asks. The
blonde replies, "I was stepping out of the circle when you weren't
looking!!!"
5) A blonde is driving a car when a blonde police woman pulls her over.
The blonde policewoman walks up to the car and asks to see the drivers
license. "I cant remember what is looks like - could you remind me
please?" asks the blonde. The blonde policewoman replies "It's a small
black square with a picture of you on." The blonde pulls out her mirror,
looks in it and hands it to the policewoman. The blonde policewoman looks
in it and says "Oh, I didn't realize that you were a policewoman too!"
6) Blonde: Doctor, it hurts when I press my chest-OW-it hurts when I
press my arm-OW-and it hurts when i touch my head-OW-!! What is wrong
with me?
Doctor: Are you naturally blonde?
Blonde: Yes doctor - why?
Doctor: Because I think you may have broken your finger.
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