|
MORE FUNNY FREE JOKES
Free Panda Jokes
Belligerent Panda Joke ;)
A Panda Bear walks into a café and orders a sandwich and a drink. After he is finished eating, the waiter comes over to bring him the check. When the waiter arrives at the table, he just starts to ask 'Would you like any des...' Then the Panda Bear reaches into his fur, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. The Panda Bear then wipes off his chin with his napkin, gets up, and starts to walk out. Just as he is about to go through the door, the manager grabs him. 'Wait a minute!' he yells, 'You just killed my best waiter! Besides that, you didn't even pay for your sandwich!'
The Panda Bear grasps the manager by the throat, jacks him up, and growls, 'Hey man! I'm a PANDA! Do you know what that means? Why don't you look it up!'
At this the Panda walks out the door and ambles down the street. The manager, shaken, returns to his office and consults a dictionary.
He reads:
'panda - a large mammal of the Asian mountain forests related to raccoons and true bears and characterized by bold black and white markings. Eats shoots and leaves.'
Short Panda Jokes
Q. What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A. A panda rolling down a hill.
Q. What?s black and white and red all over?
A. A sunburnt panda.
Q. Why do pandas have fur coats?
A. Because they?d look stupid in denim jackets.
Q. Why do pandas like old movies?
A. Because they?re in black and white.
Q. What?s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A. A panda that?s fallen in cement.
Q: What?s black and white and goes round and round?
A: A panda stuck in a revolving door.
Q. Why was the little cub so spoiled?
A: Because his mother panda'd to his every whim!
Panda Bear and Prostitute
It's about 2 o'clock ,and you know how things look in a bar about two o'clock.. well there's a panda bear and a prostitute sitting together, and the woman asks if he would like to go home with her.. the panda bear looks her over and says sure.. so they go to her place they have a good time and the panda bear gets up to leave, when the prostitute yells ,"where do you think you're going?" the panda bear answers that he is going home, the woman then explains that she is a prostitute and the panda bear answers that he knows but he is a panda bear.. they can't see eye to eye on it so they decide to look it up in WEBSTER's ... they look up prostitute: a woman that gets paid for sexual favors, the panda bear answers that yes he knew that, now look up panda bear: a black and white bear that eats bushes and leaves.
Final Panda Bear Joke
A panda walks into a bar, interrupting a heated argument between two customers. The bartender turns to the panda and says, "Hey, just the guy we needed! Tell Ollie and Neville here... are you a bear or some kind of raccoon?"
The panda ponders this for a moment and replies, "Hmmn. You know, not everything is black and white like that."
GET MORE FUNNY FREE JOKES HERE
|
